My Rock - from 10/10/2014

Amy probably won't like this post, but I truly have to acknowledge that she has been my rock through this whole process of dealing with my heart issues. When you take the marriage vows, it's hard to fathom that the sickness and health card will be played so early in a marriage. Granted, my health problems preceded our marriage and she knew that going in, but we certainly weren't expecting this kind of escalation, at least not in the first four years we were married.

Instead of making me feel like a burden, Amy has gone out of her way over and over to address my needs over her own. She has been juggling her work responsibilities (fortunately, she is able to do much of her work remotely), my care (waiting on me hand and foot at times), truly working as an advocate for my health care when things haven't been quite right, and learning how to be my caretaker now that we have left the hospital. There is a great deal more involved in being my caretaker including daily dressing changes on the drive line for my new LVAD device for as long as I have the device. She has even reminded me to keep my manners when requesting help by reminding me that a "please" can go a long way.  I also call Amy my "external memory." She has a much better memory than I do and thank God for that. My situation is complicated and my memory is not at all the best. Probably not even average. From reminders to take medicine or being able to answer doctor's questions easily, she is always there to help me out.  I truly shudder to think of what kind of shape I would be in if it weren't for Amy.

To say I found one of the good ones would be more than an understatement. God brought us together for many reasons. Some are still unknown to us, but I think of all the reasons why we wouldn't be together and wonder how persistent God must be to actually have brought us together in marriage.  Every day different reasons for our union become known and, clearly, this is one of them. I seriously love watching God's plan unfold before me and am ever grateful for the blessing Amy has been for me. Not just in taking care of me, but in keeping me laughing in a time I could easily be crying.

I had a chance to watch my father be a caretaker for my mother in the final years of her life. I learned that it is NOT an easy job. As much as my siblings and I tried to do our part, the biggest burden was on him. Now that Amy is in the role of being the caretaker for me, I see, even a little more closely, how difficult it is to be a caretaker. I am so appreciative that most of the prayer intentions that come my way are also sent Amy's way. Please do continue to hold Amy in your prayers as much, if not more than me. She is right there with me in my recovery, but she also has to continue to deal with life's other responsibilities. Watching how effortless she makes this seem, boggles my mind.

All of this is not new. Amy has been caring for me through various ailments that have led me to this point. This includes last summer, when I had to spend an extra day or two in the hospital so they could drain fluid off of me. This necessitated a visit from the nutritionist who finally helped me truly understand the need for a low sodium diet. Amy has helped me keep to that diet by radically restructuring the way we eat. This includes her finding recipes that fit the plan and she even made many of the condiments for these dishes so they didn't contain the sodium that store bought ones do. 

My love for Amy grows stronger daily.  Amy's love for me couldn't be more evident. Even when I give her reason to love me less, she loves me more. Please continue to pray for both of us as we journey down this unknown road together. But thank you God for bringing Amy to me. I only pray that I can do half as much to show my love for her as she has shown to me.